Trans March, Pride, and the rest...

Emily and I had a wonderful time at Pride this year. We did it on our own terms and at our own speed. We both realize that we are not spring chickens anymore and with my declining health and with her back and joint issues we have to take it slow... The Trans March is the one event that means the most to me. We have been privileged to ride on the trolly the past 2 years. It is hard for me to put into words how much this march and gathering makes me feel whole!!! This year we had the joy of sitting next to Mama Toni and the wonderful Miss Major Griffin!! I was so honored they agreed to a picture, which my wife took as a movie!? LOL I was able to grab a still...

I just want to live my life...

Some recent exchanges on Facebook got me thinking about some stuff that well, bothered me.....
I am an out and proud genderqueer Transman. I am married to a very out and proud bisexual woman. I am a devoutly religious UU, and working on becoming the very best 'good man' I can be, because this is what my 5 y/o nephew expects me to be. I also have a lot of time to think and reflect, and my soul gets a bit bruised every time I see my life attacked. There is not a day that goes by that someone in the media, or on the campaign trail, or even on the streets are not assaulting and/or criticizing me and those I love. These feelings do not make me a victim, and I will not 'just let it go' or 'get over it', and picking and choosing where I visit and spend my money is not allowing the haters to win. My marriage is my marriage and does not affect anyone, I believe God loves us all and I live my life as such. I know we have come along way since Stonewall and yes especially in the past few years, but my time here is short and my patience waiting for equality is growing very thin. So please at times I need to vent w/o hearing well intentioned excuses and platitudes.
Thank you and good boating!!

I am bad at changing habits!!

It was last year at about this time I tried to start my blog. What did I get to, 3 and out???
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!!!

The past 6 months have been a challenge. My marriage took a big hit when my wife, Emily, moved out for a couple of months. She moved back and we are now in therapy. All I can say is we are trying. My health is ok, but I am seeing the slow decline as I get weaker, more tired, and more chilled...

I am finding myself more and more frustrated with the state of the world. All I want is to live my life the best I can, and I am so tired of my life, my love, my rights being debated, being denied, and being fodder for stupid political pundits!!!!!

It looks like I have a start, and enough, shall we say anger, to keep me going for a bit!?

I am blessed!

As I sit here in my lay-z-boy watching college basketball, eating wonderful mushroom soup and rosemary cornbread, I am truly feeling blessed. Blessed to have my fantastic wife, Emily who is really taking good care of me, she only nags when I truly need it! She is my strength and my rock. I am blessed for a wonderful sister and nephew who took time out of their Saturday to help me take my old dog with the broken leg to the vet, to get his splint changed. My sister doesn't even like the dog, she did it for me! I am unbelievably blessed by my wonderful, beloved church family. Thank you to everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and get well wishes! Thank you to all you lovely angels who are bringing us meals, they are yummy and a big help to both Emily and I. And thank you to all the worship associates who are stepping up to help cover my Sunday slides, and Claire you are 'da bomb for keeping all this together. I want all of you to know how much your love is a big comfort to me as I deal with this heart infection, which is serious and to be honest, kinda scary.
I love you all and I am doing my best to get well and back in the game!

Earthquake and Tsunami

Today my heart is with all those in Japan and around the world who have lost loved ones and as they continue to be rocked by Earthquakes.

As I was watching the tsunami coverage on T.V. today I kept thinking about how when an earthquake in Japan causes a tsunami on the west coast of the United States thousands of miles away, is a convincing example from God of the interdependent web of all existence of which we are all apart!

If you want to help text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation to the Red Cross(remember this $10 will be charged to your cell phone bill)

My Introduction

My name is Kristen Montan. I am 49 years old, I will turn 50 in 29 days. I am married to my wonderful, feisty, and yes sometimes difficult, wife Emily. Our wedding history is typical for any queer couple. To make a long story short and to put it in heterosexual terms; we have been together 8 years and have been married for 2.5 years. She is my my rock and love of my life!! We live in Oakland, CA. I am living with aplastic anemia, a chronic debilitating blood disease and as such I am disabled.
I identify as a transman, what this means is that I was born into a female body, but I identify as male and I prefer being addresses as such, i.e. he, him, Mr. sir... I live as a man, but my body is still female. This is one of my internal struggles...due to my aplastic anemia physical transition is most probably not possible for me.
I am a devout Unitarian Universalist, and Emily and I attend First Unitarian Church of Oakland . I am transitioning out of being the lay Worship Team leader into being a part of our new Coordinating Team, where as one of the lay members appointed by our minister, I am responsible for overseeing the Program Health of the church. I also oversee the multi-media elements of worship especially creating a slide show in PowerPoint each week, with hymn lyrics, responsive readings and other elements, to support both worship services on Sunday morning.
I am also Uncle Fuzzy to my 4.5 y/o nephew, Leon. He is the joy in my life. Emily and I watch him at least 2 nights a week.
My back story is I was born and raised in Livermore, CA and graduated from Granada High School in 1979. I have an AA degree in Business/Management from Chabot College, and a BS degree in Business/Finance from CSU East Bay (formerly CSU Hayward). I spent 14 years in retail, and then found my calling in training/education. I worked at a community based training center, Vallecitos C.E.T. and then moved on to teach and become a Dean at Heald College and my career finished in Silicon Valley where I  worked at a trade association, IDEMA, as the Standards Program Manager. I managed Standards committees, and coordinated symposia and technical conferences in both the U.S. and in Asia.

I have decided for lent, instead of giving up something, I am going to add the spiritual practice of blogging. I look forward to sharing, ruminating, and just plain old journaling!!